Will I do it again ?

Just some random thoughts at midnight ❤

I met you at a bar, drunk high in the night 
Little did I know it would be one cross right 
Kissed you at the night to forget the mistakes
Little did I know I was doing it again.

Is it the karma that hits me again?
Nights after nights I numb down the pain
Was it a dream when you cooked in my kitchen
And kissed me in the hallways with the passion?
Was it a dream when we travelled together
And promised to hold our hands forever 
Do you also regret the time we spent 
One drunk night that did change it all?
Do you think that high was worth the chase
Or like all grandeurs it was meant to fail

I wasn’t right, but I wasn’t also wrong
I was going through some of my things of my own
Did you ever stop to ask me why
And not put your problems above me every time?
Was being close to someone the last straw 
That you forgot all the time when I brought you back to life

You say you wont hurt yourself 
And will keep your sanity first
But where were you
When I was drowning and crying for help?
Am I that imperfect and full of flaws
That I am not deserving of anyone’s love?

 --- Arpita Gupta